From The Hood : Ich Bin Ein Wiener

The French have A Word For It

by Lyndon Hood

ere I asked to name a regret
I might mention that Andoulliette:
A species of sausage I might describe best in
terms of it main fillings: chopped-up intestine,
and other things which I forget.

You may well have heard this before
(It is something of an old saw):
That persons of delicate digestion ought
not give the making of sausage much thought
And not, similarly, of law.

The French have a phrase that will sit
quite well with that sentiment (it
is earthier, more practical): do not forget
that politics, much like the Andoulliette,
Should smell – but not too much – of shit.

Now, before we proceed any more,
I should probably settle the score:
The Andoulliette, though chewy, tasted quite mild –
Sausages and your truly are quite reconciled –
My regret is I haven’t had more.

ut I have a problem here still:
With one lot ideological-
ly claiming results that do not match their actions
While their foes chase their tail in search of some traction –
It’s the politics making me ill.

I hope that I don’t need to tell
You the efforts we make to compel
Some sensible folk to get into the tent
Of that bastion of privilege – the government.
For instance, we pay them quite well.

But a bar remains: Someone with the grace
To think due process has a place
Or decisions from evidence1 that comes to hand,
If offered a place in our parliament as it stands,
Might rather chew off their own face.

No, rather than swallow all that –
Paving the environment flat,
And gouging the poor, taking away elections
(both ‘for our own good’) – I will swallow those sections
Through which a piggie once shat.


1 Italics indicate foreign words or other concepts readers or Ministers may not be familiar with.