From my past life as a Muppet

by Lyndon Hood

During the holidays I finally got to clear my cellar of some junk left by a number of previous tenants.

Under a pile of unused plastic spoons I happened to find an old tin of film. There was no clue as to its contents, and it was just made more mysterious by a note scrawled on the label…

This is not what we discussed, Jeff. Try again.

… a mystery which examining the film has not really resolved.

I don’t know if you’ve ever dealt with faded film stock?

I tried enhancing the video but the people still came out all distorted and multicoloured. In the end I took a copy of the audio – for which see below – and put the tape in the recycling.

You’ll probably say that was a mistake. And I admit, it didn’t have any number stamped on it at all – but I was all out of the council bags and they frankly seem to take anything.

Anyway, perhaps you’ll have some idea what it’s all about.

Leaving aside some irrelevant chatter, I’ve transcribed the lyrics as follows:

Oh who are the people in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood?
Say who are the people in your neighbourhood –
the people that you meet each day?

I’m keeping the economy on track
by laying down a lot of tarmac
but once I’ve finished all that toil
don’t know what we’re going to do for oil.

Yes, a road worker’s a person in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood
in your neighbourhood.
Oh, a road worker’s a person in your neighbourhood –
a person that you meet each day.

I check you’re safe riding your bike
and I can put surveillance cameras anywhere they like;
and as a small reward for them,
I investigate journalists for the PM.

A policeman is a person in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood.
A policeman is a person in your neighbourhood –
a person that you meet each day.

I’m living proof you win some and you lose some,
because I don’t have sufficient income;
but you’ll give me enough (arguably),
in exchange for my dignity.

A beneficiary is a person in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood,
in your neighbourhood.
A beneficiary is a person in your neighbourhood –
they’re a person that you meet each day.

For being really mean to you and me,
we put them in the penitentiary
and hope they will learn better when
we do mean things to them.

A prisoner is a person in your neigbourhood,
in your neigbourhood,
in your neigbourhood,
or they’ll eventually be a person in your neighbourhood
and a road worker’s a person in your neighbourhood
and a policeman is a person in your neighbourhood
and an beneficiary’s a person in your neighbourhood
they’re the people that you meet,
when you’re walking down the street –
they’re the people that you meet each day!

********

Tags: audio, From the Hood, Incarceration, Lyndon Hood, Muppet, Neighbourhood, Prison, Satire

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 9th, 2012 at 9:12 am and is filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.