From The Hood : You Have Been Mooned
The Lunacy of Earthquake Satire
by Lyndon Hood
New Zealand: You have been Mooned,
Am I the only one with this frame of mind? The one that treats a statement like “there’s nothing funny about the earthquake” as a challenge to my capcity for irreverence?
It’s partly a matter of personality. I think my habit of irony started as a way of avoiding emotional involvement. So my prose might be okay but I’m not much fun at parties.
It’s also principle. I tend to think ‘it was a joke’ isn’t really a defence for saying something horrible, but on the other hand I don’t believe there are things you shouldn’t joke about. It’s just that, when anger is so near the surface and confusion is so easy, it better be a bloody good joke.
So here’s me starting into a column about how I’m not writing a column, except this time I’m not even being properly ironic.
Except possibly ‘cosmic irony’. Sucks being human, eh.
[ New Zealand's 9/11: John Key Declares 'War on Geology']
After September 11 2001, amid speculation about the death of irony, satirical website The Onion took one week off before producing their most memorable single issue ever [ Comments from a writer here].
[ What? Oh, those Eastern suburbs.]
Natural disasters don’t offer quite as many moving targets, but I think I appreciate “Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake” more now. It recognises a certain helpless ridiculousness, without mocking it.
I mention this because of one thought I had on September 12. In 1999 The Onion produced Our Dumb Century, a book inventing one satire (or parody) newpaper front page for every year of the 20th century. What if they did it now?
[ 1973: At today's official opening of the World Trade Centre in Manhattan, the chairman of the Port Authority expressed the hope the mighty skyscrapers would be a symbol USA's strength and a metaphor for her presence throughout the world, their towering height a beacon to all who see them. "I like to imagine someone flying past in an aeroplane – even two or three decades from now surely they will immediately recognise these twin towers as the beating heart of international American capitalism. They embody the American spirit and the freedoms guaranteed by our constitution, and they will endure as a long."]
Probably, they’d write something not like that. Welcome to my world. I guess it’s just a matter of “you’ve got to laugh or you’ll cry”, except that I have a unnecessarily complicated sense of humour.
[ Just When It's Kind Of Not 'Too Soon' About Christchurch,
Devastating Wave In Japan Frustrates Satirist's Urge To Quip About Natural Distasters]
I’ll accept there’s nothing funny when the earth breaks, destroying cities and snatching away lives. I was taught a joke can be as simple as an unexpected change in rhythmn, but I don’t think that’s what he meant. Although if the disaster were sped up and played, à la Benny Hill, to the tune of ‘Yakety Sax’, it might just work. .
[ Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock Bang BangCRASHCRASHCRASHCRASHThudSMASHRumbleRumble
Earthquake who?]
Anyway: beyond that point, humanity gets involved. And people, as has been widely noted, are funny.
Thoughtful preachers will say God was not in the earthquake, but between the people in the seconds, hours and day that came afterwards. The thought applies to the ridiculous as much as the sublime.
[ Portaloo – Knowing my fate is to be with you
Portaloo – They're finally placing my portaloo]
I mean, no matter what you think about Ken Ring – for example, that he’s a literal charlatan and a literal lunatic who’s too busy preying on the insecurities of a devastated population and concealing how badly his methods work to actually accept the conclusions of the scientific research he likes to cite – but Sunday’s 5.1 earthquake in Christchurch display immaculate comic timing.
I mean, the ground was all like, “Oh well: round about bedtime, I guess there’s not going to be any kind of earthquake OH WAIT THERE’S ONE! Guess you don’t get to tar and feather Ole Ken after all.”
There was also a 5.0 in Tauranga. Nobody cares.
[ I mean, I predicted something dramatic would happen to get the Welfare Working Group off the front pages.
But nobody puts me on the television.]
Perhaps a more venerable version of “Woman Bakes Cakes” is the story Rabelias tells (by way of excusing his own frivolous writing) of the philosopher Diogenes of Sinope in Gargantua and Pantagreul. The passage also demonstrates Rabelias’ affection – or compulsion – for mesmerizingly long lists, which I’ve shortened because there is only so much room on the Internet.
When Philip, King of Macedon, enterprised the siege and ruin of Corinth, the Corinthians having received certain intelligence by their spies that he with a numerous army in battle-rank was coming against them, were all of them, not without cause, most terribly afraid; and therefore were not neglective of their duty in doing their best endeavours to put themselves in a fit posture to resist his hostile approach and defend their own city.
Some from the fields brought into the fortified places their movables, bestial, corn, wine, fruit, victuals, and other necessary provision.
Others did fortify and rampire their walls, set up little fortresses, bastions, squared ravelins, digged trenches, cleansed countermines, fenced themselves with gabions, contrived platforms, emptied casemates, barricaded the false brays, erected the cavaliers, repaired the counterscarps, plastered the curtains, lengthened ravelins, stopped parapets, morticed barbacans… [ etc, etc, etc]
Every man exercised his weapon, every man scoured off the rust from his natural hanger; nor was there a woman amongst them, though never so reserved or old, who made not her harness to be well furbished; as you know the Corinthian women of old were reputed very courageous combatants.
Diogenes seeing them all so warm at work, and himself not employed by the magistrates in any business whatsoever, he did very seriously, for many days together, without speaking one word, consider and contemplate the countenance of his fellow-citizens.
Then on a sudden, as if he had been roused up and inspired by a martial spirit, he girded his cloak scarfwise about his left arm, tucked up his sleeves to the elbow, trussed himself like a clown gathering apples, and, giving to one of his old acquaintance his wallet, books, and opistographs, away went he out of town towards a little hill or promontory of Corinth called (the) Cranie; and there on the strand, a pretty level place, did he roll his jolly tub, which served him for a house to shelter him from the injuries of the weather: there, I say, in a great vehemency of spirit, did he turn it, veer it, wheel it, whirl it, frisk it, jumble it, shuffle it, huddle it, tumble it, hurry it, jolt it… [ etc, etc, etc] and every way so banged it and belaboured it that it was ten thousand to one he had not struck the bottom of it out.
Which when one of his friends had seen, and asked him why he did so toil his body, perplex his spirit, and torment his tub, the philosopher’s answer was that, not being employed in any other charge by the Republic, he thought it expedient to thunder and storm it so tempestuously upon his tub, that amongst a people so fervently busy and earnest at work he alone might not seem a loitering slug and lazy fellow.
[ Week 2: Resumption of politics as usual, but with
"Because of the earthquake we must" stuck in front.]
Unlike classical philopher/vagrants, the modern satirist/comedian may have transferrable skills. Randall Munroe, whose stick-figure geeky-in-a-good way webcomic XKCD has previously included things like a diagram of the heights of things in the observable universe above ground level on a logarithmic scale, produced an infographic on the effects of radiation exposure (and still reflexively adds a couple of jokes).
[ Aren't we about due to forget about Christchurch? I mean, we forgot about that flood in Pakistan while it was still happening...]
In my own rather smaller league, doing news has been more work than usual. I know: it’s now illegal to complain about stuff if you live outside Canterbury. It’s just that I want to say I haven’t had much energy for chores, and hence to speculate that these natural disasters may mean the death of ironing.
[ Uncovered time capsule reads: "And in closing, O future people: you know there's a fault line here, right?"]
So I feel I can break from satirical tradition and make a constructive suggestion*: Stories are good.
Not just stories about the earthquake. Though with the telling these will change. Not growing, not becoming untrue, but becoming more perfect stories. Many, no doubt, will become funnier. But on the other hand, recounting your suffering can be a ritual of retraumatisation.
[ "And so farewell, from a city where the television presenters speaking as they always do at these.
The sentences, incomplete. A litter of continuous present form verbs. Talking. Emoting. Hoping."]
What I mean is: all the stories. Whichever ones you think of when I say that. Comic or tragic – and I have this (forgive me) via Neitzsche – stories are what we use to make reason of an unreasonable world. We live in the age of the internet – we actually can have our jetpack if we really want – but there are still witches in the forest.
[ Might encourage people to return to the city if we did the coverage commercial-radio style:
"A magnitude 5.1 aftershock ROCKED Christchurch. ROCKED!]
Tell stories. Opposable thumbs make it easier to operate a Playstation; stories make us human.
And yes, that includes stories about people who predict earthquakes by the moon. You know the sort of thing: fairy tales.
–
* I am, of course, unfair to satirical tradition. Another relevant case in point: Voltaire’s Candide is – it’s important as many people as possible know this – just an enormous, rollicking and fairly brief shaggy dog story. Its official target is the ‘optimistic’ position that “everything for the best”, but it has its own answers to this suffering world (Warning: contains an earthquake). So another piece of advice: let us cultive our garden**.
** Metaphorically, that is.***
*** Not that there’s anything wrong with actual gardening, either.
Tags: Disaster Humour, Earthquake Humour, Earthquakes, From the Hood, irony, Ken Ring, Satire
Whoever challenged you is a “naughty pixie”.
An elephant in your living room VS looking at one from a plane.
Trying not to sound like an anus,( boy those blogboy scientist do let rip with the big words) I thought it was a commendable effort showing good intention to try to use and undo Mainstream Media mooning, Smiths offensive handlings, the unhelful fear mongering with a scapegoat ending.Mr Ring doesn’t control the media and only predicted an increased likelyhood of an earthquake( using mostly astrology and not witches ).
The idea to open up an online sharing story blog page is great. Quake disaster victims can write about what they thought and experienced at the time , what they are feeling now. They can do a summary of what they feel is missing and would like to see in their communities/ families in the future. Past present future. The elephant is still in the room (when memories of the past are drowning out the sounds of the present) but change really is good.
yep, tautoko. As a confirmed and even affirmed non-ironer, I did indeed have to chuckle at the potential death of ironing (its still alive??) .
On the other hand if there’s anything tiresome its the lampooning of Ken Ring who, as the correspondent above me points out, only predicted the increased likelihood of an earthquake – and yes, coincidentally or whatever, there were two. Decent ones. I can vouch for the fact that at a shallow enough 5.1, the ground does indeed rock or at least undulate, depending on the type. Enough to give one more than a stir at any rate.
As for anger, the funny (not even) thing is that I’m angry too, and I dont even live there, any more. But like the past two or three generations of my family who were born and raised there, I have deeply embedded passion for my home city. And by the way it was the church that my parents and my sister married in, that we spend many years of our youth hanging about in, that those damned demolisher/developers knocked down in Sydenham the next day (yes I AM deeply suspicious of government ministers and Council members who are in bed with developers and investors) and I’m mad as hell about that. So is the rest of the whanau.
So yes you’re right, while blogging can be a great space in which to share experiences and ideas, making jokes about earthquakes and moon predictions is probably a less than life-enhancing occupatrion right now, and on that note, sure it is bad form to complain about your lot if you live outside Christchurch, or come to that, Japan. But a good joke that really does make people laugh from the belly can be wonderfully healing. Let me know when you come up with one.
Hi
Thanks for your responses.
I didn’t really want a Ken Ring arguement even though hurling abuse obviously left me open to it. I’m not likely to participate for long. (Personally, my main problem is the way he got any attention.)
But since you mention it, anybody who thinks they know what Ken Ring’s actual prediction was is wrong. He kept making them less specific without admitting it. His predictions included “one for the history books” (reportedly numbers like 7.1 or 8 were mentioned) in Marlborough or N Canterbury at noon to nothing much to between Hanmer and Amberley early lunchtime on the 19th or 20th.
yes that’s fair comment, I absolutely grant you that. On the other hand, I did ask my sister sister living in the thick of it all for her view. Her response was that she would rather be forewarned of a possibility than not, regardless of how tenuous the evidence. I wasnt there for either, though was there inbetween (in more ways than one) so cant really have a view. But she was and thus does have a legitimate view. As do all those that left town, got angry, and all the rest of it. I just think that lampooning him was/is unhelpful, and that yes, people clearly need to vent their anger, frustration and pain somehow. Not sure that this is the best way.
Moving beyond Ken Ring, I’m interested to see this new forum emerge, nothing wrong with good satire here and there, and am looking forward to following it. Thanks.
There was and is no Ken Ring argument from me .
You said it yourself all Ring did was what he always does makes prictdictions on the increased likelihood of an earthquake. The unaccountable Media did the extended mix fear campaign (and Justin Beiber still is just a little tosser no matter what the media do to drive him up to cult status).
The inflated emotional mess conflict/attention was gained when science feeling challanged- much like a baboon in a territorial dispute.As we are currently in a biotech stock bubble.
Science (Would you like some ethicsfree GM wheat with your amoralnuclear burger)is just the study of absolutes (theories that compel me to wait for the apes to change their form)and yet we still can believe in potentialities (witches)and very advanced quantum physics .
I agreed completely with you but you still perceive me as oppositional/conflict desiring?
Anuses (Arses) can provide some limited cushioning when one chose’s to sit on Cacti.
But you didn’t see the Cacti and you don’t see the cusion, just an Arse.
Contemplate this truth….
http://www.sott.net/image/image/s2/54853/full/StateUnion.jpg
Sorry I ment
“The inflated emotional conflict happened when science felt challanged- much like a baboon in a territorial dispute.” .
To be perfectly honest I was not inocent( arseless) in the Ringblog saga as I didn’t like the continued defamation and abuse they were hurling at Mr Ring, when he had clearly not yet taken over R Murdoch( the great big dirty phone tapper).
Makere what do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth…
a Gladiator.
“stories are what we use to make reason of an unreasonable world”? Oh please. So WHICH story was it that first demonstrated to potentially emergent tellers that what we were dealing with here was an “unreasonable world”?
just askin’, y’all..
Frisky 29 y’all know the world is not rational nor are people.
In ignorance people are ‘unreasonable’.
Maybe, if I may be so rude as to suggest an answer to your question ,the first story would be the story of adam and eve…. wouldn’t it?
You are writing your own story this very minute as it mingles with Lyndons, what character are you?
I think you need another joke:Guy (smells like sulfer)stands in front of a bunch of people says “After 2 years I noticed the cost of govt is too high”.
Yeah thats not funny
I’ll tell you a joke about my pe*nis oh no man I can’t its to long…..
The (Pathetic) Media has just released an front page article trying to associate Mr Ring with the teenager the police shot in Napier. No connection . Are they now trying to blame him for the Napier shooting?
They tried a number of different stories for Hughes, why didn’t they link him with Mr Ring.
Hughes: it started with Ken Ring, big moon,running naked,taxi, then along came Bill English, Darren then found he was intimidated by the big,( couldn’t swallow the), massive public service cuts.’
Yeah I just don’t get the attention either.
Mr Meener I’ll tell a joke about my baginga….but you’ll never get it
So in summary it IS however very funny to try to blame Mr Ring for everything.
“After his correct prediction I became more annoying (and there was a marked increase in rude sugesstive comments)” .He must be held accountable!!!! Preferably for everything bad that happened after the earthquake(perfect satire) and even the man made credit cycle.
AND I predict that the idea of man made earthquakes and global weather patterns will never be funny( at least until after 2012).
frisky – I’ve been on holiday, so I didn’t get to responding. If you’re still here, I’d submit you read that sentence exactly backwards.
But it’s also a sign that my potted summaries of Nietzsche’s The Birth of Tragedy are becoming too short for their own good. So I may as well expand.
Life is basically horrible – or at least utterly indifferent which is kind of worse.
In order to face it but still bear it – not the individual miserys so much as the grand existential nightmare – we present this grand horribleness as tragedy (or comedy).
In tragedy someone fails despite everything. (In comedy someone succeeds – despite everything.)
From that point of view, adding narrative gives life meaning in a fairly literal way.
I’m leaving out a bunch of stuff and I use it broadly – it could really apply to art generally – but I think Neitzsche is a lot closer to the mark than Aristotle on this one.
Side note: reminded of the close of one Simpsons episode: “Maybe there is no moral. It’s just a bunch of stuff that happened.”
What is success Lyndon? Nietzsche got close enough thinking about logos in the reflection of his reality, to go ‘insane’. Maybe that was success measured by him.Never completely trust the thinking of a man that does not understand….”What is woman for man?”As he is showing his lack understanding of the psyche.
Life is not horrible.
Life is beautiful, the physical experience of the mind( in the ignorance, or in the shadow of materialism) can be very horrible.
We allowed the theories of science to develop for the profits of the top 1% in an ethical vacuum to kill the soul and reduce us to 70 years of individualised materialism. Acquisition of material goods as the measurement of success. Survival of the fittest motto to help individualize humanity into a competitive mess. Even if it was more than a campaign slogan the “best genes “don’t have a chance against Mr Moneybags defective (inbred) gene pool.
With human behaviour adjusted to this oppressed material self (thanks to loosing the war in Individual VS State )its no wonder default horrible experience is becoming the norm.
Maybe with sycronicity you create a moral and so learn.If its senseless,(if you believe it is senseless) it will remain a disconnected bunch of stuff .But every observation is an opportunity to learn about the self, you just have to pay attention. Your ego always constructs for you a mental narrative(order and self), so without the ego would your life have meaning?
Or could you construct a different meaning to life from another neural pattern?
Would matching Nieitzsche’s neural patterns be considered success.
Corrections and extentions to the above comments ;Unethical vacuum,
Mr Moneybags=top 1%, Virgin Galactic means genes that are not the “fittest” fly away after the multinationals earth plunder.
But on a positive note we can now process bigger and Bigger negative actions with inertia until we achieve solidarity and stop pressing the repeat button.
‘There once was a man from Nantucket…”
Did you hear the one about the Virgin, the tree and the Weta?
(I think Ntzch would have liked kiwiana bloke jokes.)
Toilet paper on the shoe.
And that u.s fundementalist rightwinger Mr apocalipso rescheduled for Oct of this year(with another sure to fail to please goff date).
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20066779-71.html?part=rss&subj=news&tag=2547-1_3-0-20
Lyndon man made global warming can now be used as an excuse for military interventions.
No more “humanitarian bombing” when you’ve got man made climate warfare .
*Staring the ‘green helmets’ and coming soon to a weaker nation near you.
Mainstream science doesn’t have any morals, and its goals are not for humanity but for the benefit of big business.
You need to stop passively thinking about ms science.
After failed man made global warming, there was a need to relabel the movement to climate change,( as has the same meaning as “seasons” which no one can deny, but they are not man made either) .
Science is a just corpse now, a shell of dead cold intellect seeking to be worshipped for what science once was ,human intellect that was both alive and active.
PS
I am sorry something(s) I said made you angry.
So if you look just beyond corpse of science( it is still authoritatively riding a horse and is wearing a flash purple media glamour cape )there are hills which are composed of the bodies of transgenic animals,human genes put into animal, GM cows that provide human boobmilk , GM fungus that will kill most of our bees & bats ,atom bombs, nuclear weapons,humans mixed with animal fetuses and the billions of vivisection victims(*no lives are saved with this research, and no reduction in diseases or cures for aids, cancer or heart disease have been found they have computer programs that can simulate the same effects without hurting and killing animals) so they desire the experimentation and they do this without considering if it is a wrong action .Most corporations have their own ethical specialist on staff that says to the public or other shareholders “there’s nothing to see here” (not very conflicted).
Is this funny yet?
You tell me when we are there.